Epiphany: a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something; an intuitive grasp of reality through something usually simple and striking (Mirriam Webster Dictionary)
Have you ever thought about what the word “epiphany” means? I had an experience or “awakening” the other day. In describing my new found truths to my husband, I told him I had an epiphany. Then I started doubting I was using the word correctly! So I decided to look it up and from that found YES I was definitely using the word correctly.
The past couple of weeks, well more like the past couple of months, have been particularly hard on me.
I have doubted my contribution to God’s Kingdom in every area of my life. I was in a dry spot and not seeing any fruit of my work for the Lord. I had allowed Satan’s lies about my lack of ability to be used for great things in God’s Kingdom to become truth in my mind. I have prayed, I have called out to God, I have read the Word, I have listened to sermons, I have read books…..but I finally realized, the one thing I hadn’t done was…..L.I.S.T.E.N.
As I was complaining and almost crying (I don’t cry very often) to my husband about this time in our lives and just wanting to be done with it, he said something that started a spiral of events for me.
He said,
“I’m glad we are where we are right now. I wouldn’t change it for anything. I see God changing you and shaping you in order to use you for Him and in our ministry. And however long that takes, I’m willing to keep at it.”
Now, I have to tell you, he may have not noticed, but I was speechless after that. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing.
One of my most favorite verses is Psalm 46:10: Be still and know that I am God….That has been my life verse for many years since my mother spoke this verse over me during a particularly tough period in my life. Oh, isn’t it so easy to forget though? Be still. That’s the hard part for me. Am I not supposed to be doing? That is what that verse really means, right? DO and know that I am God????
In my life's vocation, I have been paid to make decisions, lead others, be calm in tough situations, and get the job done quickly with as many people still on your side as possible. My human side wants to do that in all areas of my life. But God wants…demands…requires something different of me. HE wants to get the job done. And in whatever capacity He chooses to use me during that, then so be it. It is ALL for His glory.
My new favorite song is “Awakening” by Hillsong United.
One of my favorite lines is: “For You and You alone, awake my soul”. My epiphany was simple, yet profound, and it was this:
I have equipped you with all you need to serve Me. By serving Me in WHATEVER capacity I give you, whether through loving your husband, through serving your children, through your current job, or by talking to your neighbors, do it unto Me and those fruits will be used greatly to further My Kingdom. Stop trying to do it all by Yourself. You don’t need to. Just keep your heart and mind open and I will guide and direct your path.
Something so easy, so simple, yet for a “doing” heart, something that has AWAKENED me to my present and put an urgency back in my drive.
Psalm 143:8: Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
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