I love the convenience of fast food restaurants. McDonalds has always been my go to choice. If I forget my lunch, am running behind for breakfast, or the kids have an event at night, driving through a drive through is fast and convenient.
But I have noticed that even the fast pace and convenience of "fast" food has been a bit slow for me lately. Take McDonald's for example. They have added 2 lane drive thrus, but the service time seems to be slower. I find myself waiting for my order to be taken longer than before.
When God nudged me with the correlation between my impatience at fast food places and my impatience with Him, I chuckled. Well, at first I did. Then, denial set in.
I mean, I'm a good Christian girl, always waiting on God's perfect plan in His perfect timing, right?
Wrong!!!
My impatience has set in more and more as my anxiety over our future work has grown increasingly higher.
I have questioned God in more ways than I care to share. Asking Him, why don't you just tell us exactly? Is this really the plan you put in place for us? Why do we have to wait? Are we going to fail? Why do we have to only know each step a little piece by piece? You ARE the God of the universe, you CAN speak and control each resource that is needed to complete your work, so why don't you do that?
Why does it have to be so hard???
I know if you are reading this you are saying, "What is your problem"? I know. It looks stupid to you, and even writing it out, it seems stupid to me, too. But when you're in the midst of a trial, an obstacle, a calling, it doesn't feel stupid, but instead, it feels....quiet, sometimes lonely.
But one thing has always been clear to me. God WILL answer. In fact, He already has. I just wasn't listening.
So, He allows me to question, and read, and talk, and finally, be silent....so I can HEAR.
Hear that He provided the Israelites all they needed for their 40 year journey by only giving them enough manna for each day. Because if He provided them with enough food for 2 days, or a week, or a year at a time, they would forget that it was He who had provided their nourishment, not themselves.
And the realization sets in that I am very much like those Israelites. I am also trying to manipulate, and orchestrate, and figure out the why, and how, and when. But I can't. Only God can.
So for now, He provides me with enough nourishment for each day, each micro step along His journey, that is needed to grow me for the task ahead.
How I wish I had figured that out a few months ago...but I guess that's part of this process of maturation.
I'm thankful my Abba Father is patient with me and doesn't treat me like a fast food line backed up from slow service.
Exodus 16:4-5: Then the Lord said to Moses, “Behold, I am about to rain bread from heaven for you, and the people shall go out and gather a day's portion every day, that I may test them, whether they will walk in my law or not. On the sixth day, when they prepare what they bring in, it will be twice as much as they gather daily.”